Dressing up the Dictionary: Monochopsis

Monochopsis - “The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.”

When I put together my look for this weeks blog, it was a matter of how I am feeling; disassociated/invisible. I threw on clothing in muted tones and loose shapes because it gave me comfort while feeling the discomfort of the not belonging to the outside world.

When I am in a dissociative state of mind the only thing that makes me present are my feet planted to the ground, hence the not so neutral leopard print ankle boots. There is a strangely dissatisfying yet satisfying notion about feeling out of place. On one hand everything happening around me isn't bothersome, while on the other I get too stuck in my own head. It’s like floating around aimlessly, getting on with the things I have to, literally only because I have to and living another life in my mind. In a way it’s like going window shopping, you know you aren't going to buy anything because well, funds, yet you feel the urge to spend spend spend. Outwardly, you are out of place because inwardly you can’t buy the things you want.

So, my clothes are my armour, they have the capacity to make me feel safe. This Topshop bouclé coat is one of my favourite purchases for Autumn Winter ‘18 so far, it’s as if though I am in a cocoon all warm and cosy, ideal for the up and coming cold stretch (although you couldn't tell, given its currently 22 degrees celsius as I write this). Everyone loves a good old oversized jumper, I chose this beige turtleneck from H&M. The colour really sums up how I am seeing everything around me, muted and blurred with a touch of haziness. The white denim culottes are also from H&M, they are UNBELIEVABLY relaxed, I literally could live in them all day everyday. I kept it classic and minimal with my accessories, opting for my 10 year old Chanel bag so as to let the shoes do all the talking.

Observing everything passing by your line of sight is odd when you know you can’t do anything about your thoughts which go along with it. Right now, the world of Amira I am living in, is because I am processing a number of big changes in my life and frankly doing so really doesn't make me feel present, anywhere I go. The only way I know how to navigate this subtle and persistent feeling of being out of place, is to see where it takes me, even just through my clothes.

A.x

Shop the Look:

  1. White Bouclé Coat - Topshop

  2. White Denim Culottes - Similar here

  3. Beige Oversized Jumper - H&M, similar here

  4. Leopard Print Boots - Zara, similar here

  5. Sunglasses - Celine, similar here

Photography by Hayley Ku’unani @thoualone

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Dressing up the Dictionary: Adjusting

Adjusting to change feels so scary because of how that change, whichever form it comes in, hijacks my ability to cope. First of all I’m an anxious person and apparently being unable to cope with change is a tell tale sign of someone with highly functioning anxiety. Second is because I live with a disorder which, without much notice at all, can cause my routine to be jilted.

I am lucky when I go a few weeks without having any disturbance that change requires me to adjust to. Even then, the prospect of looking back on a time where things were going swimmingly and desperately wanting to feel that again is really deflating. Something as simple as waking up not feeling the same as the day before with an overall sense of equilibrium can really throw me off. Not just for a few hours, it will throw me off for days, if not more. Other times it could be having to reassess my route going somewhere (TFL, you are such a bitch) and often a single sentence someone may say to me that doesn't sit well.

How does this relate to this weeks look? Well, this trans-seasonal weather is all about adjusting. Even picking outfits with the weather change majorly stresses me out. Plus, shooting them are a logistical battlefield. Shifting between comfort and looking très cool means lugging around a various assortment of shoes and accessories just to adapt to the location and create my overall desired look. Ive gone for bold and adaptable - An on trend patent trench, light enough to not make me burn up and protects me from the rain! A block stripe sweater which adds a little colour to the stark black of the trench plus warmth if it gets cold, THREE pairs of shoes and the most comfortable baggy ripped boyfriend jeans on the planet. I definitely feel like this outfit says “excuse me London, I AM adjusting to your weather” and the heels add my take on the whole looking “fashuuun” given it’s LFW. I can mould this look in multiple ways. If only all my outfits were like this!

A.x

Shop the Look -

  1. Patent Trench, Alexa Chung for M&S, Similar here

  2. Colour Block Knit Sweater, H&M

  3. Ripped Boyfriend Jeans, J Brand, Similar here

  4. Pointed Perspex/Suede Heels, Gianvito Rossi, Similar here

  5. Suede Ankle Boots, Topshop

  6. Sunglasses, Dior

  7. Trainers, Axel Arigato

  8. Bag, Gucci, Similar here

Photography by Hayley Ku’unani - @thoualone

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