Dressing up the Dictionary: Lithium

Lithium

/ˈlɪθɪəm/

noun

noun: lithium; symbol: Li

1 the chemical element of atomic number 3, a soft silver-white metal. It is the lightest of the alkali metals.

◦ lithium carbonate or another lithium salt, used as a mood-stabilising drug.

Needle in. Blood drawn. Three working days. Results. Every three months (if I’m being good about it) I have to go through this process to check the levels of lithium in my system aren’t toxic and are within therapeutic range. It’s strange, right? I’ve literally got the stuff inside batteries running around in my blood. One of my brothers actually told me this officially makes me the Duracell battery habit in the adverts, LOL. Whether or not I want it to be, it is a part of me, and the odd hand tremor here and there serves as an obvious reminder.

I’ve been on the stuff since I was 19, and believe me it’s not been a straightforward journey these past 6 years. It hasn’t been the only medication iv’e been on in an attempt to level out my mood. At one point one of my Psychiatrists had me on 7 different things on top of lithium in one go. It’s safe to say I was one hell of a fat zombie at the time. Now I am just on the one thing, I don't really notice it all that much, apart from having to pop 4 pills of it every night. Doing that has become second nature though. I don't really think about it, think brushing your teeth twice a day, it’s just routine. If you look at me, you wouldn't know that I take medicine let alone know that I have Bipolar. Ultimately the only reason I feel different to others is because said others make me feel that way through their reaction, not because I really am. Anyone living with a mental health related diagnosis will know what I mean, you live with it every single day and in the end it is your normality.

If you've read my blog so far you know the drill by now; this topic features an outfit I have curated to go with. I have opted for the very party season appropriate metallics. I am loving this pewter knit from Zara, it provides a different take on the usual sparkle from sequins and I can’t wait to style it in all sorts of ways. Being the magpie that I am, I have teamed it with my Valentino Tan-go pumps and Fendi Silver Du Jour bag. It all just works together without being OTT. To me this outfit represents what lithium is to me, from the inside out.

A.x

Shop the Look:

  1. Metallic Sweater, Zara

  2. Velvet Bomber, similar here

  3. Metallic Pumps, Valentino

  4. Bag & Sunglasses, Fendi previous seasons

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Real, Everyday Life

Insecurity... 

Where do I even start? Lord knows I have a list of insecurities long enough to start and finish writing a book… Lately, with all that has been going on for me, I have been thinking about my insecurities (oh, and fears) a lot. Some of them are deep rooted and others are a little more superficial. When I think about what I am most insecure about now it's largely focussed on two separate issues. First, my self-image and second, sharing my self-image through blogging. I don't want to sit here and  pretend that my life is perfect. When I set out to blog this year I knew I would have to face some of my biggest fears, namely my crippling social anxiety LOL, but seriously, I am super paranoid when it comes to this stuff. 

Instead of trying to fix all my insecurities and fears, I’ve decided to try and utilise them to challenge my boundaries by creating and doing the things I want to do. What I mean is that without having them in the first place I wouldn't strive to do the things I want to with the gusto they require; my fears and insecurities essentially feed my ambitions. Looking at the superficial, I am super self-conscious. Unlike all those boss big time style and fashion bloggers out there, I do not I REPEAT I DO NOT have a flat stomach, my legs aren't separated by the much sought after thigh gap, I sweat profusely (hyperhidrosis), I breakout on the regular, I feel like my head is two shapes at once, my hair just never does what I tell it to, I am on the curvier side without even having any particular shape (like wtf, thanks genes) and my skin all over just isn't #goals. I literally just made myself sound like a major troll... I can assure you I don't live under a bridge. But you know what, I have realised all those things are going to take a lot of time for me to physically or mentally change and if I wait around for those to be "perfect," starting my blog would never happen. I am trying to flip my insecurities of not fitting in with todays norms of visual identity, into something I can be proud of. So, you know what? Im definitely going to showcase outfits I haven't had the confidence to wear, even if I don't look like how “I should” in them. 

This week, my outfit is inspired by Realisation Par's Naomi Wild Things Skirt. If you're an anybody on Instagram, you'll know this slinky silk number adorns all the coolest style bloggers out there. I mean, if there is one thing that maybe makes me fit in with the rest is owning this one garment. You'll nearly always see me in a pair of jeans with some sort of blouse/jumper, but no more! This skirt is everything, it literally moves beautifully. It is without a doubt one of my favourite investment pieces this year. And guess what? Im feeling all kinds of confident in it. Non flat stomach and all.

So, when I say real everyday life is a part of what my blog is, that is exactly what I mean. Know that behind every photoshoot there are elements of my total awkwardness and also just me and my girl doing what we usually do: walking around London drinking maybe a bit too much coffee.

A. x

P.s. To keep it real with you guys, all the images used for this post are not edited and no filters were used. #nofilter!

Shop the look:

  1. Leopard Print Skirt - Realisation Par Naomi Wild Things

  2. Black Long Sleeve Top - Alexander Wang, similar here

  3. Suede Ankle Boots - Topshop

  4. Bag - Fendi

  5. Sunglasses - Le Specs, similar here

Photography by Hayley Ku'unani - Instagram @thoualone

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