Dressing up the Dictionary: IRL

Doing it for the gram, every single day…

We are all living in this world via social media, more or less. It’s what “real life” has become and it’s all just a tap away on your phones screen. As a result, it’s really hard to distinguish what is actually real and what isn’t, the line is so blurry that we are thinking our own lives aren’t good enough because we are comparing ourselves to what we see of others all. the. time. It begs the question, how much of what I present to you is really true of myself?

Well, I want to keep things as real as possible, but I know there are certain tricks of the trade which mean I inevitably give off the impression my life is a certain way, when perhaps it might not be. That’s not to say that what I put out on social media didn’t happen, it just may not be happening that very moment.

So, for this blog my outfit and location is about keeping it really real with you. We shot on the streets I walk on everyday in West Dulwich where I live, and my outfit is one I wear all the time, whether a photo of it is taken or not. You can’t go wrong with all black and a touch of gold! With it being winter, this is my go to jacket and has been for years now. I practically live in it. All in all, and on a daily basis, I like clothes you can just chuck on without much thought and yet look totally chic anyway.

Yes, I curate an image of myself that I present to you. Yes, I work from home so you know what? Most of the time I am in loungewear (I think my next post will a guide to loungewear, as a self proclaimed expert in that department!). Yes, it’s me in the photographs, I am not catfishing your asses. YES I do own and cherish all the things you see, but they don’t make me who I am in my entirety. These photos don’t capture the nitty gritty, the struggles and the anxiety. I know I know, it’s unlikely anyone shares those things in their lives on social media because they are very personal. Nonetheless, I am telling you that they are there, nearly all of the time. Just because I share carefully chosen snippets of my life does not mean that I live a perfect one. Who does!?

A.x

Shop the look:

  1. Satin Jeans, Topshop (Now on sale!!!)

  2. Leather Shearling Jacket, similar here (H&M) and here (All Saints)

  3. Mini Leather bag, Balenciaga

  4. Boots, Gucci

Dressing up the Dictionary: Maintaining

If there’s one thing I find very difficult, it’s maintaining things.

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That’s because my mood disorder has a plan of it’s own. Cue journal excerpt dated 16.07.18: “It is really hard to maintain or upkeep the use of journalling… Even though I understand it’s cathartic value, I don’t like that it doesn't make things feel better instantly… The irony is I'm so obsessed with maintaining what I set out to do.” I pretty much left it there and didn't revisit the subject again, until now.

Why now? Because I feel at a loss with everything I am doing, and I am exhausted by my expectation of instant gratification. The same sentiment of wanting to feel better straight away has trickled down to my pursuit of becoming a lifestyle blogger. Honestly, I didn't think about what maintaining the process would really entail. I quickly learnt that there is a shady side to the community of lifestyle bloggers; nearly all of them are buying their followers and engagement. It explains why trying to drive in the traffic to my own website and Instagram has been so damn slow. We live in a world where everything is instantly obtainable, and it would seem cheating your way to get there is the norm.

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Excuse me, but I did not work that much harder to prove myself and my capabilities against all odds, to be told that paying my way into things is “all that matters.” Well, guess what? MY EXPERIENCE IS MY WORTH. If anything, the people I went to school with (think rich beyond realms imaginable and then quadruple that amount) have encouraged me to do the exact opposite of buying your way through life. Granted, it would be lovely to amble along Bond Street purchasing whatever I want, but I want that to be something I have TRULY earned. You don't go to work expecting to pay you're way through it. Everything you EARN (not buy on a dodgy website) pays for all that you do: Commuting, check. Morning coffee, check. Going out, check. Eating, check. The clothes on your back, check. Travelling, check. Car, check. Bills, check. Everything, check. Did you pay your boss to give you all that? *cough* Didn’t think so.

Maintaining my path to a blogging career is proving to be super hard, it will probably induce some kind of mental breakdown, but I am willing to take that risk. Haha, I just realised what being passionate about something really feels like, #growingup. It’s a combination of feeling sick and insanely high levels of determined all at once. I’ll continue feeling this way and putting all my hard work into what I do, because I believe I can do it WITHOUT LYING to everyone who decides to follow me. As a result, I will be thankful you're a human and not a damn bot.

*Sigh* All I know is if there is one thing I can maintain, it’s my honesty, both with myself and my followers. I would rather that then simply have a number (because that’s all it is) on my platforms just for appearance sake. If it fails, wearing all black-a tone that will never go out of fashion-and drinking coffee will have to be maintenance enough.

A.x

Shop the Look:

  1. Chunky Knit Sweater, H&M Similar here

  2. Faux Leather Skinny Trousers, Zara Similar here

  3. Suede Ankle Boots, Topshop

  4. Wool Biker Coat, Sandro

  5. Bag, Stella McCartney