Gho-Pro

Our rapidly and ever evolving technology has created an easy way for people to drop in and out of existence with no qualms at all and it has changed the way we interact with one another, especially on a romantic level. Gone are the days of letter writing and meaningful face to face encounters. With a tap, swipe and click of a button you can make instantaneous decisions about who you're about to spend a night, few dates or lifetime with. This is where the relatively “new” phenomenon ghosting comes in. Well, as a concept it has always been around, just it wasn't given a designated term before. After having a couple of ghoulish run-ins myself and falling down a rabbit hole of research after the fact - this is what I came to realise… 

Ghosts aren't tangible entities, therefore seeking a reason for why you have been ghosted sends your head spinning and you end up with NO closure at all NO matter what you do. Did they find me unattractive? Were they bored of me? Have they found someone else? Did I do something wrong? Was I not good enough? Have they decided I am too much hard work? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Are they dead!? All these questions and so many more go round and round in your head making you feel like you're on an awful tea cup ride at a cheap funfair, just it doesn't stop. You break down every little part of your communication you had with that person, hoping you can come up with any goddamn reason as to why anybody would do this to you. 

And the reason is… the dismissive avoidant we have in all of us. The reality is, no matter the definitive reasons behind the act of ghosting, we are all guilty of it precisely because it is easier to avoid than create any tension or straight up just be honest. If you don't deal with something, it doesn't exist. Or so you think. I can put my hands up to the fact and say I have played the role of ghost a few times - it’s, ironically, human nature. So, next time you find yourself grasping at thin air in the hopes of getting an answer, just remember that it is never really a reflection of you or who you are but simply a human behavioural attachment style. One that dismisses. One that avoids. Not a ghost at all.

Rihanna knows…

Rihanna+Meme