Gho-Pro

Our rapidly and ever evolving technology has created an easy way for people to drop in and out of existence with no qualms at all and it has changed the way we interact with one another, particularly on a romantic level. Gone are the days of letter writing and meaningful face to face encounters. With a tap, swipe and click of a button you can make instantaneous decisions about who you're about to spend a night, few dates or lifetime with. This is where the relatively “new” phenomenon ghosting comes in. Well, as a concept it has always been around, just it wasn't given a designated term before. After having a couple of ghoulish run-ins myself and falling down a rabbit hole of research after the fact - this is what I came to realise… 

As we know ghosts aren't tangible entities, therefore, seeking a reason for why you have been ghosted sends your head into a wild spin and you end up with NO closure at all from the other person NO matter what how hard you try. Did they find me unattractive? Were they bored of me? Have they found someone else? Did I do something wrong? Was I not good enough? Have they decided I am too much hard work? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Are they dead!? All these questions and plenty more go round and round in your head resembling an awful tea cup ride at a cheap funfair. You break down every little part of the communication you had with that person, hoping you can come up with any goddamn reason as to why anybody would do this to you. 

And the reason is… the dismissive avoidant we have in all of us. In reality, no matter the definitive reasons we never get to grasp behind the act of ghosting, we are all guilty of it in some way, shape or form because it is easier to avoid than just be straight up honest. If you don't deal with something, it doesn't exist. Or so one would think. I can put my hands up to the fact that I have played the role of ghost a couple of times - it’s, ironically, human nature. So, next time you find yourself grasping at thin air in the hopes of figuring out why someone has ghosted you, just remember that it is never really a reflection of you or who you are but simply a human behavioural attachment style. One that dismisses. One that avoids. Not a ghost at all.

Rihanna knows…

Rihanna+Meme